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Dick Tourette Cheney Renders Great Moments in American History
by Gary Corseri
June 29, 2004

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1. Patrick Henry, the Richmond Convention, March 23, 1775:

Give me liberty, or give me f***en death!

2. The Declaration of Independence (July 4, 1776):

When in the Course of f***ed-up human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the f***en political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the f***en powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the f***en causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-f***en evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the f***en pursuit of Happiness.

3. The Gettysburg Address (November 19, 1863):

Four score and seven f***en years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created f***en equal.

4. Lincoln’s Second Inaugural (March 4, 1865):

With malice toward none, with f***en charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the f***en right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all f***ed-up nations.

5. Rhett Butler/Clark Gable, "Gone With the F***en Wind" (December 25, 1939):

Frankly, Scarlett, go f*** yourself!

6. Eisenhower’s Farewell Address to the Nation (January 17, 1961):

Good judgments seek balance and progress; lack of it eventually finds imbalance and f***en frustration …

This con-f***en--junction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience …In the f***en councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the f***en military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

7. John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural (January 20, 1961):

Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and f***ed-up foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans--born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage--and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the f***en world.

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any f***en hardship, support any f***en friend, oppose any f***en foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

8. Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream Speech” (August 28, 1963):

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red f***en hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of f***en injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the f***en content of their character. I have a dream today.

9. Neil Armstrong Walks on the Moon (July 20, 1969):

That's one small step for man, one f***en leap for mankind.

10. Judy Garland, "Over the F***en Rainbow"; Cheney sings soulfully:

Somewhere, over the f***en rainbow, way up high, there’s a land that I heard of once in a f***ed-up lullaby.

Gary Corseri's f***en work has appeared on PBS-Atlanta, and in f***en DissidentVoice, CounterPunch, CommonDreams, AxisofLogic, The Village Voice, New York Times, Redbook and elsewhere. His novel, Holy Grail, Holy Grail, is the only Arthurian legends-based book set in medieval Japan and modern Atlanta.

Other articles by Gary Corseri


* The Judgment of Solomon
* Ronald Reagan Kicked Out of Hell!
* Out of Iraq and Plato's Cave
* Bush Admires Blair’s “Cajones” & “Only Seeing Tit in Iraq”
* Who’s on First? The Bush-Cheney 9/11 Dog & Pony Show
* “Out, Out Damned Spot!”