if you will, turning on the television and seeing an infomercial for "breast
pills." This new miracle cure will help women feel confident about their
racks in the hope the miracle pill will add much needed size. The ingenious
producers of this infomercial have brought in a male sexuality expert to
explain how men love the size of women's mammary glands. The doctor rambles
on about all the attention that big boobed women receive.
Plausible? Probably not today in the land of the liberal American who wants
to save the whales and kill the terrorists. Many will be surprised to hear
that this infomercial IS being broadcast across the great land of liberal
Americana. The catch: the doctor is a woman and the mock talk show is
advertising for "penis pills."
Dr. Susan Block,
the Yale educated sex-guru is your expert for this evening. Block and her
much touted doctorate in Philosophy from Yale is well known around
progressive circles as somewhat of a rabble rouser. Taking on John Ashcroft
is just one of Block's many battles. Recently, Block found herself in the
middle of a metaphor induced
tizzy when a Turkish newspaper used her as a source claiming American
soldiers had raped thousands of Iraqi women. The charges were unfounded.
In fact, in the past Block has waged a decent battle against the neo-cons
and all their sexually repressed shortcomings. So I had to wonder why a
witty dissident like Block is appearing on an infomercial for penile
enlargement pills. Are financial troubles abound for this doctor of lust?
Probably not. But, while Dr. Block cashes in on an easy pay day, there are
millions of teenage boys across the country who think they don't measure up.
According to the aging blonde doctor, the answer is the much needed penis
pill! Without a VCR, I can't offer any of her ridiculous quotes, but let me
assure the reader that her performance was well scripted and laughable. And
she wants to be taken seriously as a political pundit?
Maybe I'm being too harsh. In all fairness, Block didn't demand a eugenics
program wherein all lesser endowed men be deported. In fact, Block did
something almost as sinister. She used her title as a "doctor" to explain to
little Johnny that he just isn't good enough. Sorry Johnny, you'll never get
me! That's the implication. Unless – of course – you drop some cash and buy
I can hear her now: Have I mentioned that I studied at Yale? Ohhhh, Johnny.
Whip out your credit card. Sure, I take debit. Mmmmm, give me your
numbers...all sixteen of them. That a boy. Sorry, no CODs.
Fast forward six months when little Johnny's self-treatment has shown no
improvement. Johnny is very bitter. A hate for women and lying Yale
graduates has developed. What will poor Johnny do? How can this young chap
win the heart of all the platinum blondes in America? What's next:
Depression? Surgery? Rape?
One thing is for sure, Dr. Block is literally raping millions of men across
the nation by using her attractiveness combined with a Yale degree to gouge
money from sexually repressed males. Block should be extremely proud of
herself. And she calls herself a doctor? Maybe it’s just that philosophy
students take a different Hippocratic oath: “Do no Harm…unless you can make
Back to victim; let's venture into his past:
Directly after popping out of the womb,
sweet little Johnny is covered with a sheet so only his newborn manhood
is peeking out through a hole. SLICE! Johnny is
The doctor has knifed roughly 33% of Johnny's penis straight off!
The early years are rough for Johnny. His parents are cold. No sexual energy
But then Johnny hits puberty and begins to explore! Except, all he does is
stay in his room and masturbate. His parents are concerned that Johnny is
not the socialite they had hoped for. Hmmm, sounds like Johnny needs another
doctor. "Take these pills and your mood will improve." Johnny is excited.
His mood is changing. He's wired! The girls at school think that Johnny is
"weird" and -- oh no -- Johnny is still dateless.
"What is the problem?" Johnny wonders. "I know...I need to increase my
And, thus, Johnny looks for his sexual magic in a pill. A penis pill.
They say rape is about power. With her sexual energy and long blonde hair
Susan is a engaging seductress.
But Dr. Block, YOU are a rapist.
Kap Fulton is editor of the weblog San
Diego Moon (http://sandiegomoon.blogspot.com/),
where this article first appeared. He can be reached at