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McProtests R Us,
Or: Would You Like Some Fries With Your Black Mask?

by Mickey Z.
August 12, 2004

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“Complain all you want; but do as you're told.”

-- Frederick the Great of Prussia

In a matter of weeks, politicians, protesters, and police will converge on my beleaguered city...and that is precisely why I'm skipping town for a few days. The police state tactics and color-coded alerts are reason enough...but I'd also rather not witness firsthand the death throes of protest as we know it.

It's bad enough that today's breed of subversive didn't deem the Democratic Convention worthy of his or her time (Where was the planned-for-months-in-advance outrage in Boston? The Hitler mustaches? The warnings about fascism? The cataloging of candidate crimes?); now we have hordes of anti-authority types submitting to New York's demands for polite opposition restricted to a pre-determined venue. Sure, a lawsuit is being threatened but it has little to do with freedom of speech being limited to a city-sanctioned site far away from the conventional action. Nah, the progressives in question are in an uproar about the lack of shade near the West Side Highway.

No justice.

Now, if you think the radical left playing nice in Boston and adhering to the rules in Manhattan has made supporters of Kerry (a.k.a. Yale-educated War Criminal #2) a happy bunch of corporate campers, you display precious little savvy about our two-party (sic) system.

An Associated Press item floating around this week quotes lots of Dems dissing demonstrators. The piece begins: “(Some Democrats) said disorder and clashes between protesters and police not only could drown out the Democrats' carefully crafted message of ‘loyal opposition’ to the GOP but also could be linked to their party.”

New York Representative Jerrold Nadler explains: “If a problem develops, I think the political impact will not be good for Democrats. There are a lot of very fine patriotic demonstrators, and then there are some who are probably anarchists or crazies of one sort or another.”

Queens Congressman Anthony Weiner adds: “I believe a lot of Republicans would like to point to a lot of kids with spiked hair and rings through their noses and say, ‘This is what John Kerry is about.’”

Democratic National Committee spokesman Jay Carson sums up: “There's an important message to get out here about how the Bush presidency has been bad for America and bad for New York. It would be a shame if that message was drowned out by unruly protests.”

Let's recap for all the ABBers who don't want to do anything to embarrass Yale-educated War Criminal #2:

1. Do not protest against the Democratic Party when there's a Republican in office.

2. Participate only in government-sanctioned protests at a government-sanctioned location.

3. Stay away from crazies and anarchists (or am I being redundant?).

4. Unruly = bad. Carefully crafted = good.

5. If arrested, disavow Kerry for his sake. Claim to be a Nader supporter.

5. Hold your nose when voting for JFK2...also: comb your hair, remove all piercings, and, for chrissake, be patriotic

Welcome to the Michael McMoore era of dissent.

Mickey Z. is the author of two brand new books: The Seven Deadly Spins: Exposing the Lies Behind War Propaganda (Common Courage Press) and A Gigantic Mistake: Articles and Essays for Your Intellectual Self-Defense (Library Empyreal/Wildside Press). For more information, please visit:

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