President Boooosh, We Are “In A Pickle”
by James Boyne
November 4, 2003
First Published in Op Ed News.com
Dear President Boooosh:
We are in a pickle!
I got my Allstate auto insurance renewal in the mail. Times sure are a changin’.
Here’s the scoop. Allstate just merged with United Healthcare so they said I would have to switch my health insurance from Blue Cross to United Healthcare in order to be an Allstate Advantaged Preferred Policyholder
I called my local Allstate agent right up on the phone and a friendly, pleasant sounding young lady answered with a slight accent. I asked where she was from and she said Bombay, India. I asked how long she had been here in the U.S. She said she wasn’t in the U.S. She was still in Bombay and that she just got this great job with Allstate/United because of the Great American President, Mr. Booosh.
She said Allstate/United just hired 10,000 administrative people in Bombay and that she makes 35 cents and hour. “Wow”, I said, “How do you make ends meet?” I said, “How do you pay your rent”?
She said there was not rent in Bombay. Everyone lived in grass huts in the suburbs or just on the street. “Way cool”. I said. “That sounds cozy”. “Kind of like perpetual spring break”. She didn’t know what spring break was.
I asked her if she got good benefits. And she said no. There is no such thing as benefits in Bombay, just 35 cents an hour and a nice calendar with a picture of Mr. Booosh on it. I asked her what everyone did with no benefits if they got sick. She said that she wasn’t allowed to get sick and if she did there were no doctors because all the Indian and Pakistani doctors went to the U.S. to help Mr. Booosh and vote for him and be Indian and Pakistani doctors and collect co-pays.
She said that there were no more Indians in India or Pakistanis in Pakistan -- that everyone was just a Republican now -- that President Boooosh wanted it that way.
I asked her about my new Allstate policy. She said Allstate was now like an automobile HMO. She said to read my new policy. I wished her luck. And read my new policy.
My new Allstate policy says that I can only be covered if I also have health insurance with United Healthcare. It also said that Allstate just merged with Sprint also, and its new name was Allstate United Sprint PCS. The policy said that I would get a package instructing me on how to switch from AT&T (my present carrier) to Sprint.
Also, Allstate would now only insure me while driving on certain roads. I would only be insured while driving on Allstate’s officially approved roads, mainly the Interstate roads. On off-roads, which would be all State highways and local roads, I would need a “special insurance rider” with a $10,000 deductible. The “special rider” was flexible with a menu of selections (like health care insurance) so I could select the roads I liked to travel on the most.
Also, the policy said that I could insure my wife and children as long as they also had Sprint PCS. But they could only be covered if they were riding in the digital area. If I got in an accident with them in the car and we were all in an analog roaming area we wouldn’t be covered except with a “special insurance rider”, called the “Allstate Advantage Automobile Analog Roaming Rider for Special Customers”. I signed up for it, just to be on the safe side.
The Allstate Policy said, since they were an Automobile HMO that I would have to have bought my car at the new network of Allstate Approved Advantage Auto Dealers. It said, if I purchased a new car I could go through Allstate, through United, or through Sprint PCS, or I could elect to be in the PPO and go out of network for my automobile needs. Of course, if I went out of network and just bought a car at my local Ford dealer, I may have to pay a “maximum out of pocket” over the sticker price, adjusted for the exchange rate differential between the U.S. and India.
I called Allstate again. A pleasant sounding young man answered with a slight Chinese accent. I asked him how long he had been in the U.S. He said that he wasn’t in the U.S. He was in Zyandong Province in Mongolia, next to China. He said, “Mr. Booosh is a good man. He make lots of jobs for people in Zyandong Province”. He said, “everyone in Zyandong make big money, 50 cent and hour, Mr. Booosh, he a good man.”
I decided to take a break from the phone and go get the mail. In the mail was a notice from my employer, asking me to report to Human Resources on Monday, or I could log on at www.youarelaidoff.com. I had a sinking feeling in my chest.
I turned on the TV and Mr. Booosh, I mean President Bush, was speaking at some place in the pouring rain, wearing a baseball cap and a leather jacket. He said he was all for work, and work was good, and he himself liked work, and working people were good, decent people, even if they were out of work, and that he would go get the workers, and “smoke ‘em out and bring ‘em ta justice”. And Mr. Booosh, I mean President Bush, said that “everyone deserved ta work, dead or alive”, and he said “work can run, but it can’t hide”. He said, “we will win this war on workers (I think he meant to say terrorists) no matter how long it takes”. He said he liked work so much that he was going to his ranch in Crawford, Texas and take a month off in order to work.
And he said the Iraqi people were happy now. That we made ‘em happy cause we freed ‘em and gave ‘em freedom and now they can work. And President Booosh said that he wouldn’t stop until everyone in America was fired, or rather, fired up, about work. And that he would get the whole world workin’. Even if we “have ta smoke ‘em out and bring ‘em ta work”. When a reporter in the audience asked where the workers were, Mr. Booosh said, “bring ‘em on”, dead or alive”.
I just got my calculator out and divided $50,000 into $350 billion (the amount of the tax reduction Mr. Bush just gave) and it came out to be 7 million. That means that the Federal Government could hire 7 million people and pay them $50,000 each for a year to work on the national parks, the roads, Federal buildings, and other programs. Instead, the $350 billion didn’t create one single job. As a matter of fact, 93,000 more jobs disappeared last month. If there is a single businessman, a single company or corporation that has hired even one person based upon the “incredible affect” that the sudden influx of $350 billion has had on their business, I would like to hear from them. As a matter of fact, I’d like the job myself, since I am unemployed.
The world sure is changing. I think I’ll just go out for a drive and try to stay off the “off roads” and out of the analog roaming areas and just keep to the digital roads so I have proper coverage.
I am a former staunch conservative Republican who has recently been “born again”. I have been “born again” into a progressive, populist and will vote for Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio). I really don’t care what his party affiliation is or whether is called a liberal, moderate or conservative. Mr. Kucinich is a man of integrity, honesty, common sense and sincerity.
Congressman Kucinich (D-Ohio) is straightforward, articulate, says what he means and means what he says. He writes his own speeches and delivers them without notes. He doesn’t read from a teleprompter and doesn’t need a team of a dozen speechwriters. He actually believes that the unemployment rate should be 0%. He believes we need to rebuild America before spending $600 billion rebuilding Iraq. He is for single payer, universal health care for all because one should not have to barter away their entire life savings to afford health care.
We now have 9 million unemployed with jobs disappearing at the speed of light. We have over 40 million individuals with no health insurance. (Howard Dean wants to provide health insurance for children and poor people.) That doesn’t help the 40 million people, since most of them are working people between 23 and 65 years old that can’t afford the health insurance premiums that are priced in the stratosphere.
President Booosh wants to spend $600 billion to totally rebuild Iraq. I don’t think the entire country of Iraq was worth $600 billion before we bombed it. And what the hell happened to all that oil. The Iraqi people have all that oil, but all they complain about is the fact that they don’t have water. I guess you can’t drink oil.
I’m worried that Bush wants to attack Syria, Iran, North Korea and even Cuba. That will cost about $1 trillion. Its good Bush wasn’t President at the height of the Cold War or we may have made a pre-emptive strike on the USSR with 40,000 hydrogen bombs and we would all be living in caves right now.
The Iraqi’s don’t have electricity either which means that their monthly electric bill must be pretty damn small, so they must have some extra money to spend. Maybe Nike, and Pepsi, and Dunkin Donuts will open up some businesses in Baghdad and jump-start the economy. Maybe President Booosh should give the Iraqi’s a $350 billion tax rebate.
Just think, if the average annual earnings in Iraq is $1000 a year, a $350 billion dollar Iraqi tax rebate could put all 27 million Iraqi men, women and children to work, and provide a damn good health insurance policy. And there would be lots of money left over. Last month President Bush said he needed another $87 billion for Iraq. When he asked for it, he was talking to the TV teleprompter, so no one actually answered him with a “yes, let’s go for it” or a “no, not in your life” type of response. All I know is, President Booosh, didn’t ask me. I think I am going to write to him and tell him to “not include my portion in the $87 billion”. I think I would rather just have my portion sent to me directly.
South Carolina has a budget deficit of a billion or so maybe President Booosh can give $2 billion to South Carolina, and give $598 billion to Iraq. That would be a good idea. And maybe he could spare some pocket change out of the $87 billion (maybe a half billion) so South Carolina can hire some teachers and fix the schools).
I invite all Americans, whether staunch conservative Republicans, liberal Democrats, independents, progressives, environmentalists, small business owners, and corporate executives to join me in rebuilding America by electing a man of honesty, integrity and common sense, Dennis Kucinich in 2004. He is a man who will watch how our money is spent, and watch who is spending it for what purpose. He will set a goal of 0% unemployment so all Americans can work. He will provide all Americans with the right to high quality health care that is affordable. And he will restore the time honored trust of the doctor/patient relationship. He will spend American money on America, to rebuild our dams, our bridges, our roads, our national parks. He will restore the pride and potential of our educational system and give back to teachers the enthusiasm and dedication that they previously had in years past.
I truly believe that Mr. Kucinich is the only man capable of solving the Israeli/Palestinian problem. I encourage anyone and everyone who has an open mind to read and ponder his positions on all the issues of our day at his web site, www.kucinich.us.
I believe Americans are the most likeable people on the earth, and the most generous. We don’t need to dominate, threaten, coerce, and control, badger, bully and bribe the world. Yes, there are some brutal dictators in the world but we can’t declare war on the world, forever, and spend $50 trillion dollars to make it a picture perfect planet.
If we don’t all come together and achieve Dennis Kucinich’s goals we are “in a pickle”. That’s for sure.
James Boyne is a computer trainer, and former sales executive for IBM, Sony and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. He is a former staunch conservative Republican who after becoming of victim of the health care industry, has researched, studied, and written about the health care industry as a freelance satirical writer. He has made a 180-degree turnabout and now supports Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) for President. Mr. Boyne has a B.S degree in Marketing, and MBA in Marketing/Economics, and a degree in Certified Financial Planning. He can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org. This article is copyright by James Boyne, originally published in OpEdNews.com but permission is granted for reprint in print, email, blog, or web media if this entire credit paragraph is attached.