Fox News is Stupid and Silly in a “Fair and Balanced Way”
by Robert Gaiek
There are no words to describe The Fox News show, Fox and Friends. But think of three chimps scratching themselves and picking lice and fleas out of each other's hair, while alternately whooping and hollering and jumping from chair to chair. You don't need to watch the Discovery channel to learn what humans were like 10 thousand years ago. At the risk of offending old people like myself, I could also say they remind me of three old ladies really high on crack cocaine, alternately gossiping and speaking in tongues, while having absolutely no awareness of which planet they are on, with each wearing Arnold T-shirts showing his full frontal nudity.
The network that pays, cleans, and feeds these Neanderthals (think of three stinking drunk George Bush clones without a script and a minder) claims to have "dropped a lawsuit" against Al Franken because he was getting too much publicity for his book: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. Actually, they were laughed out of court. Fox lawyers must have given as much forethought to their stupid and silly lawsuit as Bush and his pals gave to the stupid and silly invasion of Iraq.
This brings us to an incident on air several weeks ago that received no publicity. The guest of honor was the heroic, ex-marine-convicted-felon, Oliver (Twisted) North. You might remember him as one of the two stupid and silly idiots the Army kicked out of Iraq for drawing maps in the sand on international TV -- live and embedded. The other was another Fox all-star, Geraldo Rivera, who is not a felon, just stupid and silly. (I hope fox doesn't sue me for slander)
Ollie, as they call him on the Fox show that glorifies war and "killing evil bastards" the Bush way, plopped into a chair on the left, with a window at his back -- at least the window was there when he sat down. Behind the dumb blonde (Fox trademark) a patriotic American could be seen with a large sign that read: "BUSH LIED." He moved to the window behind Ollie, and began to turn the sign to raise it higher in the air.
One could see that there was another line on the sign, but between camera cuts, Ollie (Iran Contra) North moved his chair -- or the camera was repositioned.
The persistent demonstrator moved back into camera view, and one could read the bottom line: "MARINES DIED." The camera quickly cut to the blonde, and now one could see one of New York's finest on the sidewalk.
The next time the camera cut to North, there was only a blank wall in the background -- not even the curtain was visible. It was easy to tell that this whole crew was thoroughly trained, as no one even cracked a Bush style chimp-like smirk. After the commercial break, everything reverted to normal as though it never happened. The man in the blue shirt with the badge was no longer in sight, undoubtedly busy escorting the patriotic sign carrier off to a better place.
Why do I watch this stupid and silly show? After five years in the military and a tour in Vietnam, I'm immune to propaganda and stupid and silly behavior. I am the designated Fox watcher on my block. In addition, I'm a great fan of old Japanese sci-fi thrillers, like "Godzilla Destroys the Fox News Building."
Robert Gaiek is a former Army Infantry Captain, earning a Purple Heart, Bronze Star with Oak Leaf, and two Air Medals in Vietnam. He owns his own video production business and is weary to the bone. He can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org