**An Inspirational Note in Support of Our Troops
From the Sky Pilot-in-Chief, George W. Bush
(Click on all links to fully enjoy this satire)
by Robert Gaiek
September 6, 2003
Good Morning Vietnam…uh, Iraq! It promises to be a wonderful day in the dessert as we proceed with "Operation Jimmy Hoffa," killin' killers who hate our freedoms. We just hired some Iraqi spies to help bring freedom to this wonderful country full of oil. I think of you brave boys whenever I'm out clearing brush in that awful Texas heat. Thank God for those long summer afternoon naps. I want you boys to know that Halliburton will be able to install those showers and start making hot meals soon. I need Congress to pass a law that will shut down these tort lawsuits that make insurance premiums rise so fast. The right of corporations to have the freedom to profiteer from war is a God given right. Those tort lawyers are just like terrorists -- they have no morals. As soon as my vacation is over, I am going to declare war against those greedy lawyers. It will be called "Operation Corporate Freedom." They are the ones stopping Halliburton and Bechtel from installing the basic necessities to make your war experience more enjoyable.
I know that when I was a fighter jock during that Vietnam War, hitting the Officer’s club for a few cold brewski-lites made my sacrifice for our country just a little easier. Dick has an idea to make some of these big corporations part of the federal government, which will make them immune from lawsuits. We’ll probably give this a trial run in Iraq, as soon as you boys kill all those dissident bastards.
Here is a nice picture to keep in your Bibles. I gave up sweets for you boys and I’m now pumping iron, which the women voters really seem to like. I’ve put on five pounds (all muscle) and I’m getting in shape to lead you wonderful guys to Total Victory, when the time is right. Remember: Total Victory means kill ‘em all that don’t think like me. I am the most powerful man in the world, next to Ariel Sharon. Dr. Jack Van Impe tells me and Condi that we have a really big battle coming up soon, and I am the man God has chosen to be the leader.
That little boy on the lower left of the picture is my new Head of Bionic Warfare. When we get done pumping you boys with our new vaccines and high tech implants, you'll never want to come home again and you will only have to sleep every 7 days. Just mostly prayin' and killin' and proselytizing. I sleep like a baby, but you fellows are in for a treat soon. Dick is in charge of the project, as usual.
Just remember Jesus and me are prayin' for you boys every morning. You boys have your own chaplains, even you Muslimite fellows, but just think of me as your Sky Pilot-in-Chief, the head chaplain. Remember that we are all sinners in my eyes.
God Bless God Bless Amerika and Me!: (Bush-Cheney '04, Bibles sold separately) Support our Christian Troops.
VERY EVIL GUY
50 million people died in World War II. This man did not think he was evil. How many people will die before George Bush is finished killing in the name of God?
mumbles a prayer
Written after the 1968 Tet Offensive
Robert Gaiek is a former Army Infantry Captain, earning a Purple Heart, Bronze Star with Oak Leaf, and two Air Medals in Vietnam. He owns a small video production business. He can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org